So, I was reading in Huffington Post Divorce today about Thomas Beatie’s divorce. You may better remember him as The Pregnant Man. The Arizona Judge who is presiding over the case is refusing to grant a divorce on the grounds that “there’s insufficient evidence that Beatie was a man when he married Nancy Beatie in Hawaii”. That really got me thinking that, 1) This is why I am NOT a Judge, and 2) what other host of problems will this divorce bring on this family?
Of course, I’m not expert in the LGBT community, so I’m wondering did the testosterone therapy that Thomas Beatie went through (I’m assuming) affect his thinking? Of course, it changed the body in physical appearance, in addition to the double mastectomy, and I’m sure testosterone therapy must also have an effect on the brain, but to what extent? (In addition, did it have an effect on the growing fetus?) Does he still have motherly feelings towards this baby that he/she carried in the womb for 9+ months?
Looking at some photos that can be found on the Internet that were taken in an attempt to recreate the “traditional” father/mother/baby role, Beatie is cuddling his should-bare wife, who is in turn cuddling the baby. At this, I wondered, but isn’t his wife is NOT the mom (did my use of a double negative just confuse this sentence?); or maybe she IS? Did Beatie’s wife take over the “traditional” motherly duties such as feeding, bathing, tending to the children at all hours of the night? Heck, did I even do these “traditional motherly duties”? What type of emotional connection to the children does Beatie have? Will that biological connection get in the way of his feelings and the direction the divorce will take?
Obviously, nothing is “traditional” in this family, so why am I trying to fit them into my traditional sense of understanding? After the divorce, will Beatie and his ex-wife (assuming that their marriage will be declared legitimate so they can divorce) split custody equally? It will surely be an interesting divorce to follow. I’m sure the divorce will get plenty of attention from the critics of same-sex marriages with some statement such as, “Beatie is single-handedly destroying the institute of marriage!”, or some similar sentiment. (As if the institute of marriage isn’t already shattered.)
Sadly, I was too lazy to Google Beatie’s wife’s names for this post. I could easily do it, but I think I’ll save that search for my next blog post.
I hope these precious children born of this marriage will have every opportunity to love each parent equally, whether their parents’ marriage is traditional or not, the children have the right to love and be loved by each parent.
Time to give my brain a rest.